I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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