they need to just BURY HIM!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
