it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
