Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
