he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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