I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
