She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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