I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
please come you make the beer taste better
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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