Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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