guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
