Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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