Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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