He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
