Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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