Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
