Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
