Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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