He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
