he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
