dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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