North Korea, Best Korea!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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