he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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