We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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