youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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