it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
