Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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