I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
