I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
