But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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