if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize