I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am mentally ready for anal.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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