I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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