She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
