Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
