I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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