Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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