The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
