He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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