There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
