"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
