Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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