dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize