you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
not ubering you a puppy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
