sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
