if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
