i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
