I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
