Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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