Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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