Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
