I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
