Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
