Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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