His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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