end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
