i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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