The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
