No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
