allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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