It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
