Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
